Procrasterbation

There are four websites I visit every day of the work-week:
Nataliedee.com
Toothpastefordinner.com
Marriedtothesea.com
And Overheardinnewyork.com
Other websites I visit on a work-daily basis include but are not limited to:
Explodingdog
Austinslam
The LiveJournals of my friends
The Live Journals of my past lovers
Hisspace, herspace myspace and yourspace
I stare out the window
Pretend to organize my desk
Go across the street for some coffee
(and I fuckin hate coffee)
I text my sister
I check my email
A lot.
I write poetry
I practice poetry
All in the name of not doing the shit that I am supposed to be doing
At work.
The art of procrastination has been perfected through the ages
Thanks to countless jobs in cubical cages
For menial tasks compensating negligible wages
So there is something so rewarding about watching the numma numma yay kid
For the gazillionth time without your boss ever suspecting
Cookies stolen from the cookie jar and devoured before mom makes it from the garage
To the kitchen are always sweeter for the same reason that every thing is funnier in church;
Because you aren’t supposed to laugh in church.
Which is why procrastinating at work is so satisfying!
But not for me.
Because my boss procrastinates at work too
I mean he calls us into his office at least 3 times a month to show us some
Crazy-awesome beatboxer or a logic-defying skateboarding dog
So there is no need for me to sneak around about looking at the same stuff on my own.
Thus, for me, it loses all sense of fulfillment I might gain from simply wasting time at work
I have to do it in my personal life as well.
Laundry, dishes, going to the grocery store, and any other chore I might encounter are all subject to my favorite form of distraction:
Procrasterbatiuon
You know
The art of procrastination through self love.
I mean, as long as we’re wastin’ time, might as well enjoy it, right?
Although it may look like distraction on the surface,
Procrasterbation is actually quite productive indeed!
It jolts the heart-rate much like sprinting
It relives stress and lowers cortical levels which can lead to weight problems
It helps boost the immune system
It raises dopamine levels in the brain causing feelings of happiness and contentment
And if a person can’t rely on him or herself for feelings of happiness and contentment
Who else can they rely on?
One could argue, even, that everything else is actually tearing us away from what is really important!
And if everyone could be healthy happy and content, then there would be no need for
Fighting, or aggressive driving, or war or late--night infomercials or televangelists
The world would be a much more safe and enjoyable place to live!
So go on, I beseech you to procrasterbate as much as possible.
In fact, you should move it to the top of your to-do list.